Woah, this is just my 6th post for the project? Guess I missed a lot eh? But I’ve been blogging on side so I think it should count as part of the project. ^^
Well, moving on to the topic, I think there are many things that keep me up at night. I’m a deep thinker and my mind works its wonders around the time before I sleep. When everything is dark and quiet and all I can hear is the sound of the rotating blades of my electric fan. During these moments, I think about a lot of things and I’ll elaborate on some.
One. My dreams.
Although I have many dreams in life, there is always that “top 1” or “number 1” in everyone’s list. For me, that would be to become a world renowned multilingual landscape photographer. Maybe some of you might think it’s a bit ambitious but I don’t care. Just like my favorite author (Paolo Coelho) said “Your dreams are your own”, so I can dream dreams this big. This dream keeps me up at night since sometimes I think if I would ever reach such achievement. I’ve started slowly in my attempt at reaching this goal by studying Korean as a third language. I’ve also been practicing shooting landscapes ever since I got my camera almost 3 years ago. It’s been a slow start so sometimes I think about quitting this personal quest. The good thing is, whenever I think about quitting, the words from (again) my favorite author comes to mind and inspires me to work harder in achieving this so called “personal legend”.
I guess everyone of us, at some point in our lives was kept awake by the love. May it be the idea of love, or the idea of falling in love, or something that’s bothering you regarding a love one or a significant other. This keeps me up almost every night. After my mind goes tired of dreaming of wandering and traveling the whole world as a multilingual landscape photographer, my brain goes to overdrive thinking about love. This coming April, I’ll be single for almost a year now. My last relationship didn’t last long because of my own personal reasons (or selfishness?). But now, I always end up thinking about love every night. Positive and negative thoughts come and go and it always affects how much sleep I get. I’m not saying I hate it when love keeps me up at night, I just find it interesting the my mind never gets tired of thinking about it every single time.
A wise person once said, “Do something that you love and you will never work a single minute in your life” or something like that. I think about work too, before I go to sleep. Not because there’s so much stress going on in my everyday workplace but because I’m thinking if this is the right path/career for me. During the first part of my training, I thought I’d like the job. I was even excited to start of going on client calls. But as of now, I’m quite wondering if I really like this. Enthusiasm is fading slowly and that’s a bad sign. I either need to find inspiration to continue this path or I’ll have to quit it and find something I’d love to do. Or I maybe wrong too. Maybe it’s just the idea that I’m earning less than the average among my friends and that my salary can’t support the lifestyle I’ve always dreamed about. Whichever the reason is, may it be the interest in the job or the salary, I’ll need to find a solution, fast.
Those are the top three things that keep me up at night. Although there are more like, basketball, biking, SNSD, Sex, tattoos and other stuff, I prefer to elaborate only on this three for now.
So there’s my list, how about you share what keeps you at night?